You’ve gotta stop lying to yourself

I wanna go for a run today but my mind starts in on me right away.  Ah, it’s hot outside. Well, I could go run in the air conditioned gym. But you hate running inside, says my brain.  Plus, you are tired.  You’ll feel better later and have a much better run.  Yeah.  Lets run tonight. When its cool and you have more energy.   

Sound familiar?

I know you’ve done that.  Told yourself a lie to help you make a decision.  KNOWING you aren’t gonna do it. It’s an easy pattern to fall into.  Telling ourselves that we will start tomorrow, next week will be better, next month will be less busy.  It helps us get through the day, to hold on to that glimmer that tomorrow is a new day, and it will magically be better than this one. 

 

It won’t. 

Sorry to be blunt, but your days are not suddenly going to get less stressful, less busy, and…. poof!  Life is going to look like the balanced, happy vision you had for yourself. 

Unless.   

Unless you do something different.  That can be difficult, which is why most people don’t do it.  It’s hard to take that first step because it takes you getting VERY real with yourself and saying, tomorrow will NOT be better.  Next week will NOT be less hectic.  The summer will NOT be less busy.  It will just be busy, stressful, and hectic in a different way.   

So changing takes you calling yourself on the bullshit that you tell yourself to get through the day.  It takes you looking in the mirror and saying this is my life right now.  Today is not a fluke.  This is it.  And if I don’t like it how it is right now, then I need to change something, right now.  Not tomorrow, not next week, not in the summer.  RIGHT NOW.  In spite of all the excuses I have for myself; that I feel broke, tired, and too busy.  Those are all the EXACT reasons I HAVE to do this right this moment, because as we just agreed, those things aren’t going away.  Waiting is not helping. 

The only real luxury is TIME.  You can’t get time back. 

How very true.  I don’t get a do over at yesterday, a chance to go for the run I didn’t go for.  That’s an easy one.  How about today? Were you present, and happy – or tired and complaining about work/life/the world?  You don’t get today back. Think about that. This day will never, ever happen again. Di you make it count? There are a million and one quotes out there encouraging us to go for it, right now:

 

·      Now is the moment, today is your day.

·      Seize the day

·      No time like the present

·      Leap! And the net will appear

 

And that’s for a good reason.  Because nothing changes if nothing changes.  So selling yourself the lie that tomorrow will be better, or that one day you will wake up and be perfectly inspired to take that next step, or go to the gym, or be a better partner is stopping you from doing those exact things.  There is no fairy godmother that is going to show up one day and Cinderella you into a ball gown and financial security.  That’s up to you. 

You have to be your own Fairy God Mother. 

I’m not gonna lie.  Its probably gonna feel like crap.  Its not gonna look pretty.  That first mile you run after taking a few years off?  Yeah, its gonna SUCK.  You are gonna be sweaty and gross, not all dewy and glistening like the chic in that Peloton commercial.  We all wish we looked that when we work out.  We don’t and it’s fine. 

But you need the crap part to get to the good stuff.  You have to wade through the sucking to get to the soaring.  Its not gonna get EASIER to run that first mile.  Or do that first blog post, or have that conversation you have been putting off. 

Today’s decision is about honesty.  Are you brave enough to get totally honest with yourself about why you are or aren’t doing something?  Are you brave enough to own your feelings instead of covering them in frosting and declaring you are F.I.N.E.  You can do it.  I know you can.  Be ruthless on your pursuit of self-excellence and accept nothing less than the truth from yourself. 

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Dayna Schaaf